the fall

leaves burn bright
and swirl in the wind.
there's nothing
more beautiful
than the fall.

welcome home

while you were gone i had a dream where i was inside a building at a big reception. there was lots of noise and lots of people. it was stressful. every time i got tired i'd head outside to a big beautiful wraparound deck where you were standing with a row of guys talking and laughing. i'd slide up and join you without interrupting your flow. then i'd wrap my arms around your slender waist, tuck my head into your chest, and just hug you. you hugged me back, and i'd just sit there and rest for a little while, recharging. you kept talking and laughing. i had one ear pressed against your chest so i could feel your heart beat and your voice echo and vibrate inside of you. you were so relaxed. you had such a calming, grounding effect on me. it was great.

since then i imagine that embrace every time i get really stressed.

the amazing technicolor dream quilt

If people don't want to feel as if one religion is dominating in public places, then why not encourage more religious/spiritual/moral expression in public places? Why not help the underrepresented perspectives be shown and seen too, instead of removing what is now there?

If we have the ten commandments, why not have Ghandi's 7 blunders? Or a phrase or two from the Dalai Lama? Or a big OM statue? Or Ben Franklin's 13 Virtues?

What are we so afraid of?

I envision a courthouse with all the major religions represented by beautiful works of art. I see a school classroom where a space of quiet meditation in the beginning of the day is the norm. I envision people discussing loving things that Gandhi and Buddha and Jesus said, freely and openly, without ridicule or judgment from one another.

And with no one being sued.

Let's flood our public centers with images and ideas of goodness and wisdom from all corners of the universe. Let our public officials be inspired by expressions of truth, beauty, and moral consciousness all day long. Let America be rich with cultural and spiritual expression, not barren. Let it be a quilt of many colors, not just one. Or worse... none

pride threw the first punch

There is truth in everything.
Our unwillingness to see that is an issue of pride.

we want to be right
more than we want peace.

(photo: "white picket fence" by ken)

fruitproof

"the fruit inspector...

9 fruits of the spirit:
love

joy

peace

patience

kindness

goodness

trustfulness

gentleness

self-control

(Ga 5:22-23)

... and the treekeeper"

the proof's in the fruit

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians%205:22-23;&version=65;

(photos by ken)

ben franklin's 13 virtues

1.TEMPERANCE.
Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.

2. SILENCE.
Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.

3. ORDER.
Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.

4. RESOLUTION.
Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.

5. FRUGALITY.
Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.

6. INDUSTRY.
Lose no time; be always employ'd in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.

7. SINCERITY.
Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.

8. JUSTICE.
Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.

9. MODERATION.
Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.

10.CLEANLINESS.
Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, cloaths, or habitation.

11.TRANQUILLITY.
Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.

12. CHASTITY.
Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dulness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's peace or reputation.

13. HUMILITY.
Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

"Around 1730, while in his late 20s, Benjamin Franklin listed thirteen virtues that he felt were an important guide for living. Ben Franklin tried to lead his life, following these virtues. He placed each one of the virtues on a separate page in a small book that he kept with him for most of his life. He would evaluate his performance with regard to each of them on a daily basis. He would also select one of the virtues to focus on for full week. Franklin often emphasized these virtues in his Poor Richard's Almanack. Later, in a letter to his son William, he gave the list of virtues, recommending that William follow them too.

Although Franklin tried to follow them himself, he sometimes went astray from his good intentions. For example, in his Almanack, Poor Richard (Franklin) gave the advice: 'Be temperate in wine, in eating, girls, and cloth, or the Gout will seize you and plague you both.' Meanwhile, Franklin was known to relished his food, womanize and sometimes dress to impress people. His food and wine-drinking habits led him to be plagued with the gout for much of his life. But still, the positive intentions were there." -Ron Kurtus

Historical notes from: http://www.school-for-champions.com/character/franklin_virtues.htm)

The image of Franklin is borrowed from the American Philosophical Society, which Franklin founded in 1743.

the banquet

(This is my first response to all of the posts on a column by Lewis Sheckler entitled The Church Of Liberalism, America's Established Religion on NRVToday.com)

Aside from that Jim Ward stunner, and a couple of other ugly personal comments I don't care to revisit, I've been impressed with the writers of the posts on Mr. Sheckler's column.

I've heard all of you, (despite yourselves sometimes) and I have been working on putting together my own reflections on the many issues that have been brought forth. You are all informing me about new perspectives, and I am grateful for that.

I would suggest that we continue to rise above the tone (violence) and seek the truth within all of the posts here. Where there is no truth present, we can promptly move on.


Thank you Mr. Sheckler for your willingness to take the heat in order to open a dialogue. I admire your strength and perseverance.

Thanks to all of you who are willing to share your point of view and earnestly discuss these serious and deep issues. We can't get anywhere in a dialogue until we come to the table together, and I'm glad to see you're all making the effort.

I saw a Christian preacher recently talking about the "banquet" that God will host in the heavenly realm, in which we would be seated in the presence of our enemies. This preacher interpreted that as meaning we are all called to the banquet together, and our enemies are a witness to our honor because they are seated across from us at the table. He said that we are able to do it, to feast together, because it is a table of peace.

I guess in the earthly realm, NRVToday.com is turning out to be like a banquet host. It's up to us to make our table one of peace as well.













Love to all,
Amy

the forest and the tree

re: religiosity in the trucklight story... thoughts inspired by crc's audiopost entitled "road trip day 4" http://www.plastercity.com/blogs/ears.htm

It's a good thing to accept the creative expression of an artist's faith. It is part of inclusiveness.

There are many words describing the same thing. Truth comes to us from every corner of the universe. We can find it within every religion, every myth, every belief system, virtually every thing to which we are exposed.

We recognize the truth by its resonance within us, and then we give the rest - the illusions, the misunderstandings, the lies, and the like - very little of our energy.

(that reminds me of the pile of apple cores i chucked in the trash after i had extracted the delicious bits for my pie.)

look for the delicious bits in everything.
chuck the rest.

Through this lens, a religious expression can provide spiritual connection rather than religious disconnection. The invisible threads between us become visible.

Religious symbols and stories from all faiths

are like tiny lights in the night
that come to us when we need them.

"working m(om)"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aum

"there you are, staring at stars, breathing in awe, feeling at one with the universe, ...you know all this already, don't you?"

"feed my sheep"

from mia farrow's trip to darfur www.people.com/darfur

www.unicefusa.org

www.savedarfur.org

the grateful dead

Mr. Sheckler, a writer in our hometown online paper www.NRVToday.com, reminds me of my granddaddy. I just loved my granddaddy so much, but he would infuriate me with his beliefs. He would insist he was right, and I, of course, knew I was right, and so I would waste hours debating issues with him. I finally gave up trying to convince him of anything, and just let him be.

Despite this peace treaty of sorts, he would occasionally lecture and/or tease me about various points of contention. He was a funny old man with a contagious giggle. It was hard to stay mad at him. I'd just shake my head and say "oh Granddaddy!" I did get him to finally stop saying the (hateful, violent) "n" word around me. Getting that old southern man to stop using that word was probably the best thing I did for him in that way. The best thing he did for me was to help me see that I can think very differently from someone and still love them with all my heart.

He's been gone awhile now, and I still miss him. He called me up in a dream once during our fourth major hurricane in Orlando. I said,"Hey Granddaddy! I wanted to ask you now that you've crossed over, what, besides the teeth thing, would you have done differently?"

He used to always tell me his only regret in life was not taking better care of his teeth. He loved to eat. As far back as I can recall he had a big fat set of fake choppers. As a kid I just thought they were his own teeth. I had no clue. I remember being quite alarmed on the rare occasion that he would show up without them. Having no teeth really profoundly changes the way people talk, you know. That can be scary for a clueless kid. Truth be told, those gums a 'flappin are pretty distracting as well.

Anyway, if he had to do it all over again, he would have taken much better care of his teeth. Every time I remember that I floss for a few days. I've flossed once already today in memory of him. I'm sure I'll do it again. (The old lady in me who just loves golden delicious apples and salty, buttery corn-on-the-cob thanks you generously, granddaddy).

So I’m on the phone with him in a dream during the hurricane and I ask him if there was anything else he would do differently, and he said as clear as day,"I would be more grateful ... for everything."

"Oh yeah?" I said, curious about the pause and emphasis. He responded,"Yes, for everything." Again, with emphasis, as if to tell me that there may be some things I'm not appreciating.

It's true that after three hurricanes and multiple power outages in the first trimester of pregnancy in florida in August (you add it up) I was really worn out. Downright ill in fact. Appreciative thoughts weren't on the top of my agenda, so this dream couldn't have come at a better moment.

When I woke up there was this nice cool breeze blowing my homemade curtain toward me and I thought oh, thank you God for that nice breeze. Thank you for fresh drinking water. Thank you for the toilet, and that soft toilet paper. Thank you for the batteries for our little radio. Thank you for our helpful neighbors. Thank you for Ken. Thank you thank you thank you for my little baby.

Thank you for everything.

Just then I realized that it was my air conditioning that was blowing the curtain. YAY! THANK YOU FOR RESTORING OUR POWER! WOO HOO! (always, always a reason to celebrate).

It's funny but I thought the very same thing today. This morning is my morning off from mommy duty. I was looking forward to some serious computer time. But when I woke up we had no power. I found it humorous that we somehow sailed though all these ginormous storms in the past couple of days without losing our power only to lose it today, while the sun shines down on pretty much my only morning off. Then I remembered my granddaddy again, calling me from the other side, offering me the cure for what ails me.

So I kept my mind full of thankful thoughts, and the power was restored in an hour or so. I greeted it's return with the usual THANK YOU LORD shuffle, and then I quickly resumed my pre-conceived notions for the day. I powered up "Eleven," (I don't just name trees, I name computers too) checked the morning headlines on NRVToday, and then saw that some anonymous person who sounded kind of reasonable to me had commented on one of Mr. Sheckler's posts. This new post gave me hope that I wasn't the only one who gets that we aren't discussing anything real on this message board. We're all just labeling and blaming and attacking each other.

I pondered what I'd say in response, and I thought, well, why not start out by asking questions? Let's not assume we already have all the answers. And then, in my minds eye, I saw Mr. Sheckler and his big ole' grin, and then I saw my granddaddy and his big ole grin, and then I smiled. As I reached for the floss I thought, thank you God for helping me learn how to love my neighbor.


















photos: "dreamcatcher" by amy; " green swirl" by ken

happy smoky explosion day

It's the time of year again when families and friends will picnic and play and lay under the stars on blankets awaiting the smoky explosion show.

We really are living in a blessed country when a vast majority of the explosions we hear are celebratory ones.

Thank you God for peace in my neighborhood today.

Thank you God for our freedom.

Thank you for our many many many blessings.

Thank you for the beauty all around us.

Thank you for all the opportunities.

Thank you for giving us a compassionate heart.

Thank you for allowing us to live in a land full of possibilities.

Thank you for access to this brilliant technology, and all of it's possibilities.

Thank you for giving us all strong voices here.

And thank you for giving us the courage to use them.

We are truly grateful.

treehuggery

i used to write much more than i do now. but the written word is woefully open to interpretation. one simple statement can be read a million ways. our perceptual lens through which we view the world, or our "window," as we often call it, colors the words.

this is part of why i love radio so much. i get to actually speak. when i'm speaking the words aloud, with my own voice, they aren't as ambiguous as they seem to be sitting here all on their own. they're just these vunerable, lonely little words with no voice but the reader's to give them meaning. and who knows how that voice will sound? will it be gruff and cranky? silly? serious? sarcastic? who knows? i hate to speculate. so, i've shyed away from it lately. (writing, i mean. not speculating. unfortunately.)

but i realize that i have a great opportunity to develop a column to go along with our latest radio project, (http://radiowednesday.blogspot.com/) so as stevie winwood says,"while you see a chance, take it." i guess i'll just have to carefully mind my words. and i'll need to accept that sometimes i'll be misunderstood, and sometimes i'll make mistakes, and sometimes i'll be embarrassed, and sometimes i'll have to explain myself, and sometimes i may look stupid, and sometimes i'll be harassed, and sometimes i'll have to say i'm sorry, and i guess i'll have to be ok with all that.

man, i've almost talked myself out of this....

so, all that explains my hiatus from writing. as for the radio wednesday hiatus, ken and i have been moving. well, actually we moved in one day (on june 8th) but the before & after-math have wreaked havoc on our routines. those of you with babies know about routines. ok, i guess you don't need a baby for that, but if you have one then you REALLY know.*

anyway, when i pondered what i'd like to write today, tree huggery came to mind. i'm pretty sure huggery isn't a real word, but i thought it described it just fine. you know, the act (art?) of tree hugging.

this topic came up because, as a part of radio wednesday, i've been pegged (labeled, stereotyped, pigeonholed) as being a tree hugger. maybe it's ken's awesome tree pics on our blog. or maybe someone has actually spotted me hugging a tree or two around town. it's possible.

wherever the notion originated, i'd like to set the record straight today. it's only partially true. i actually practice a more general form of huggery. i hug kids and dogs and grandmas and pillows and stuffed bears and pets and really just about anyone that comes along that seems like they're in need of one. i'm never wrong about that. i can tell a mile away when someone's soul is searching for a big mamma-style hug. i can't tell you the number of times total strangers have started seriously boo-hoo'ing in the midst of one of these hugs. i'm quite the hugger, no doubt.

as far as trees go, it is true that i've hugged some of them. it's also true that i name some of them. outside my window there's big puffy and soulpatch....

















soulpatch came equipped with a cool birdfeeder

we used to live near sammy junior and singsong....












singsong looked scary in winter.

before that, there was barkey and bird...

















barkey grew a curious lovebeard where we regularly hugged him.















bird, sadly, was pulled up, roots and all, by hurricane charley. lots of blackbirds made bird their home, hence his name. most of them didn't make it through charley either.

that's the trouble with naming the trees, incidently. they sometimes meet with untimely deaths, and then you've gone and named the thing so you're attached to it. i guess in that light, it's probably best to keep the naming of (bonding with) trees and such to a minimum.

anyway, so i hug trees, and i name a few of them, and i love to sit under them and look up at the sky through their branches. i understand how ridiculous that probably seems to some of you. it seemed ridiculous to me at one time, too. before 9/11.

in the months following that horrific day, like many of us, i had what you could call a spiritual "awakening." others call it a "kundalini experience," or a "spiritual rebirth." most of the folks around here would say i was "filled with the holy spirit." all these phrases really attempt to describe the same thing, which is an opening of consciousness to God through the Christ spirit. seeing the light.... hearing the still soft voice.... feeling the energy of pure, unconditional love... knowing that He is.

of course words can't describe this properly, since it's really a deep, profound, subjective, emotional experience, but for those of you who know,... well, you just know. for those of you who don't, you have so much to look forward to!

anyway, when i found God, the previously invisible trees (and flowers and clouds and sunsets and mountains and oceans and etceteras) were visible and vibrant and awe inspiring. all the ordinary things of life were somehow renewed in my mind. it was like a black and white world was suddenly colorized. i began to approach everything with such appreciation and wonder... the very same wonder that made my baby light up when she felt the grass between her little toes for the first time. she glowed and giggled and i thought there's just nothing like this kind of bliss.

so, it's true, i do stare up at the trees, and i thank God for them. i soak up their healing colors, i breathe in the fresh sweet air they deliver, and it feels awesome. i admit, i don't usually technically "hug" trees the way i hug people and pets and such. i mostly just pat the tree with my hand and give it a kind word or two. even with just that little pat, i can feel a nice energy from the tree. a healing energy. so it would probably feel pretty good to give the thing a big fat hug, but the bugs deter me. truth be told, the ridicule deters me a little, too.

maybe a teeny bit less after today, though.











*typing those caps in this sentence brings to mind the fact that i almost always type exclusively without capital letters. having many e-pals i have found it much faster to type without all the capitalization. and then i started just preferring to see the letters this way (i see it in the body of my piece as arial, with a 12 point font, and it's lovely). but for the schoolteachers et.al., i am aware of the "official" rules of capitalization. i'm just making an economical and artistic choice. i hope everyone can see beyond appearances. (who am i kidding? we're not nearly that evolved yet. i'll be back to writing "properly" in no time i'm sure.)

because you are her father...

on behalf of our little one, i want to thank you for being a wonderful father.

because you are her father, she will know how to love.

because you are her father, she will know that a man can be gentle yet still be strong.

because you are her father, she will choose a partner that treats her well and makes her laugh.

because you are her father, she'll feel safe in the world.

because you are her father, she will know how to stand up for her friends.

because you are her father, she'll know who ralph nadar is.

because you are her father, she will understand all about the ills of corporations.

because you are her father, she'll grow up loving nature and supporting the environment.

because you are her father, she'll know the value of a dollar.

because you are her father, she will love traveling to faraway places.

because you are her father, she will know and love all kinds of people.

because you are her father, she'll know how to play the guitar.

because you are her father, she'll love those holiday james bond marathons.

because you are her father, she'll love lemon pepper catfish.

because you are her father, she'll be very familiar with howard zinn.

because you are her father, she'll know exactly what and how to recycle.

because you are her father, she will love david bowie and the clash.

because you are her father, she'll be able to make a killer tomato sauce.

because you are her father, she will choose a career that will suit her perfectly.

because you are her father, she will know jesus.

because you are her father, she will show temperance in all things.

because you are her father, she will have nicely manicured fingernails.

because you are her father, she'll sleep with her toes poking out from the covers.

because you are her father, she'll dig "the daily show."

because you are her father, she will put her family first.

because you are her father, she will know how and when to confront people.

because you are her father, she will love herself.

because you are her father, she is very grateful.... as am i.

happy father's day ken (dat-tee) !!!
we love you muy moo-chew.

one step up

the following is my response to the recent gay marriage discussion, as well as two paragraphs referring to homosexuality in ron walton's "friday morning musings:" http://www.nrvtoday.com/content/view/4891/62/

ken and i talked about this subject for our new episode of "radio wednesday." for more info about the show, please check out the radio wednesday blog : http://radiowednesday.blogspot.com/

to hear the discussion click on "radio wednesday : one step up" http://www.nrvradio.com/content/view/38/43/

"it's the same thing night on night. who's wrong? baby, who's right? another fight and i slam the door. another battle in our dirty little war. when i look in the mirror i don't see the man i wanted to be. somewhere along the line i slipped off track. one step up and two steps back." (bruce springsteen)

Is being gay a choice or a God given characteristic?
Ultimately, whether it's a choice or not, or whether it's "right" or "wrong" is only known between each individual and God. So, since I am neither gay, nor God, my opinion on the matter is meaningless.

It does, however, seem pretty clear that homosexuality in this culture serves a higher purpose in that it allows us the opportunity to address our prejudices and judgments and hateful behavior toward one another. So, for that reason alone, I believe that it is part of God's plan.

Whether it's inborn or environmental, right, wrong, or indifferent, I just don't know. I am not the one to judge the issue. God does not ask me to judge. He asks me to love. That is the challenge being put forth.

stop judging one another and learn how to love each other.

I will always take a stand for love.

love one another...

for the record, regardless of gender, people that love one another are ok in my book.

Should same sex couples be allowed to get married?
Despite our various and sundry opinions, it's not our place to judge whether same sex marriage is right or wrong. How can we arrogantly presume we are even properly equipped to make such judgments?

Why are so many of us focused on how we believe other people are missing the mark while we walk around miles from it ourselves?

Furthermore, why are we trying to control one another so much? What are we so afraid of? And who are we, as a "free" society, to withhold these kind of civil rights from a whole subgroup of people?

Those of us fortunate enough to have one know that solid loving partnerships are the saving grace of this challenging world. They are the proverbial soft place to fall. Not to mention the catalyst for a great amount of personal growth. And, they anchor us. Don't we all want to be anchored?

do unto others...

If I knew all this, and I were gay, I would want to be allowed to marry my partner, too. I would want to be treated kindly and respectfully and fairly and equally, despite other people's differing viewpoints.

If the religiously spirited people have issues with the "institution of marriage" then why can't we just call it a "union," and then call it a day? Everyone can believe what they want to about it, and everyone can teach their children what they believe is best, but it's not in anyone's best interest to institutionalize any one religious viewpoint.

Do we actually want to religiosity and legalism to rule? Wouldn't we rather rule with the broad strokes of love and freedom and tolerance and equality for all? Isn't that what we stand for as a country?

We all judge one another. And we all know inside that we probably shouldn't.

Uh oh, i am entering "should" territory again.... I don't want to "should" all over everyone. Maybe we can just reflect on what our greatest teacher said:

love one another as i have loved you.

treat other people the way you want to be treated.

don't judge people unless you want to be judged in return.

That's what I'll be teaching my little girl. I'll teach her about loving people, and treating them with kindness, even when - especially when - they look, think, and act very differently than she does. I'll teach her to treat people equally, regardless of sexual orientation. I'll teach her to stand up for people who are bullied and abused for any reason. And i'll teach her that, since we don't have all the answers to complex subjects like these, it's best to suspend judgment and just give love.

A minister open to performing civil unions would probably have a lot to offer in that respect. What's the name of that church again, Ron? ;)

moosey brown

the flaming (s)word

in my hand,
high above my head,
i hold a flaming sword.
it's not meant to harm,
it's just to light the way.



picture: ©2006 Jodie Coston/ World of Stock

mother's day

here is a poem my sweet husband wrote for me ...

my baby's mama
is strong and sweet
her love and support
are my retreat

she gives her all
in all she does
and with her words
creates a buzz

she's not afraid
to take the time
to craft for us
a life sublime

she likes to travel
off the chart
her words and deeds
inform my heart

she pushes herself
and does her best
but on this day
i hope she'll rest



thanks ken.
happy mom's day to all the moms out there!

...i just can't fake it

there's a place we reach with one another
when things have been left to linger ...

unresolved.

it's this place
where i just can't fake it
anymore.

i would have been there with you
my heart gaping open
gushing blood
all over
your expensive shoes.

somehow before
i was able to tack it shut
tape it up
conceal it
under my baggie clothes
and i'd smile
and chat
and hope you didn't notice
those little drops of blood
soaking through.

today, i can't.
today, i can't fake it.

today i feel years of pain
and the blood flows
like a river
from the deepest part of me

and God keeps reminding me
it's ok
you are healed

i am healed.

it doesn't feel like it though.
this bloodshed
almost drowns me

almost
being
the key word.

the bus will be here soon
he whispers
and i'm back on that street
in boston
waiting
shivering
soaking wet
ready to walk back home
and give up on that bus
that God assured me
would come.

the bus will be here, baby
and you'll be warm
and safe
and dry
and whole
again

just trust me
i will never let you down
i will see you through anything
even this,
the deepest wound.

you use your will
your greatest gift
and you hand your pain to me

in me you are healed.
in me you are free.

thank you lord.

he lifts my head
and i see my girl
peek through the door
and smile.






















i love you like you love her.
don't you see?
he says to me.

yes.
now i see.
now i see.

hey, look!
the bus is here.

the freedom flower

we are one and many
it was never an either/or
acceptance of the one
(the self
and the other)
allows the many
to live in harmony.
we surrender
to the idea
that i am what i am
and you are what you are
and we are all brought together
inside the
big heart
of humanity
glowing bright
with divinity
like the center
of a glorious flower
with billions
and billions
and billions
of petals

these liberating thoughts make life outside my cave much more comfortable.

happy spring

try try again

ok so i guess i'll try to keep a blog again. i think this may make the third time i've tried to write regularly in one of these things .... we'll see how it goes this time.

i love to sit in the floor and color with my baby girl. here's what i made yesterday that inspired the blog resurrection....

my last blog seemed too dark. i'm in a brighter place these days. i have more light to share now. life's good that way ... you can always count on change... that big wheel keeps on turning....