Wednesday, April 09, 2008

deep grief


i lived across the street from a girl named amy when i was a little kid (age 4-9). she was 4 or 5 years older than me (and much taller than me), so the kids in the neighborhood called her called her "big amy", and called me "little amy".

just a couple weeks ago her angry unstable ex-husband drowned their three beautiful children in a bathtub at a hotel room during his visitation period with them. he then attempted suicide himself but he survived. he made threats in the months prior to the murders that he knew killing her children was the worst thing he could do to hurt her. he was right.

here is more of the story:

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/local/crime/bal-te.md.castillo04apr04,0,5664001.story

i really can hardly even go there in my mind.

my heart aches for you tonight, amy.

may those kids come to you in a dream and let you know they are just fine, with the Lord.

Heavenly Father,
i am welling up with tears in my attempt to connect with you about this. i know if i plug into the reality of what amy is going through i will just break down. i am afraid....

Lord, thank you for giving me courage. thank you for keeping your hand on amy during this time of grief. thank you for providing the comfort and the peace that seems so unbelievable during a horrific tragedy like this. you give us the peace that only you understand. thank you for helping us have faith. thank you for helping us forgive. thank you for helping amy forgive the man who dragged her though hell and murdered her babies.

thank you for helping her forgive you for allowing this to happen. thank you for helping us all trust you, and know that you are able to bring awesome things from horrible situations and deep pain like this. we really can't understand how you can let things like this happen, but we trust you, Lord, and we know you are with us. we are so grateful for you.

thank you for using my family in any way that we can be used to bring comfort and peace to amy's heart. thank you for helping me get my tears out. i just am so sad. it's just so awful. i'm just so sorry, amy.

(weeping... sobbing... can't type)

thank you for hearing me, Father. i love you. i wish you hadn't let this happen. but i trust you and i love you. thank you for helping us all learn what we need to learn from it.

in the name of Jesus i pray. AMEN and amen.

please give to the LOVE fund for amy: http://www.edison83.com/lovefund4amy/



1 comment:

amy said...

here is a note from a friend (posted with permission)

Dearest Amy,
I have learnt from Doug, with great shock and dismay, the episode of Amy who bears your name and the passing away of her children in the awful manner. I fully share your sorrow and the shock and the prayers you have offered, and shall offer prayers myself to help us all understand the workings of God's Will. THere is no doubt that these innocent children are with God and a great portion of the Lord's Mercy and Love are showering down upon Amy, whose heart is the heart of a mother, which mere words cannot console. It has to be the Divine Power which will come to her aid.
I recall my father giving the example of a potter moulding a pot and thumping the clay strongly with one hand, as if bent upon to break it,-- but then his other hand goes inside the pot, giving it support. So if one aspect of the Lord's Will took the children away, the other aspect of His Will is giving His hand of support and consolation deep within the heart of Amy.
Please convey my sincere grief and condolences to her, tell her that we are all shocked beyond measure and shall observe this day as a day of mourning in the house and offer prayers to the Universal Father for peace to the soul of the dear mother.
Yours in sorrow,
Priya

thank you very much, priya. i have to clarify that i do not know amy as an adult. the last time i saw her was when i was a child. but still, having known her to be a kind and loving person, it pained my heart to hear the news.